Seeking the Savior

I have been so blessed to spend some sweet time with the Lord lately. I have been pondering the Christmas season in the light of what God has been teaching me. The message that God keeps teaching my heart is to not only spend time with him, but to dwell in Him. Isn't that the Christmas story? Jesus was so much more than an example to us but if we look to Him we see a pattern for us to live our lives by. God sent His son to dwell here on earth so that we could dwell with him in heaven. I don't want to stop at seeking a baby in a manger. Jesus didn't stay a baby.

And so are the days of our lives...

I am really enjoying staying home right now. I love that I can finally be the kind of wife that I have wanted to be. I get to clean up stuff and cook each night. It has been a blessing to have a balanced life. We had both been working 2 jobs and hardly seeing each other. Now we are talking and having fun together so much more because there isn't this pressure to enjoy every precious moment we have together.

Exciting Day!

Well, I have been venturing out more to get to know the area better. Today I finally was able to get my library card. There is something about having a library card that makes me feel connected and stable. I feel like I have some place to go. I know I have more to write...it will come soon.

The End is Near....

So, yeah...I quit my job. No back up. No plan. No income. God had to be in charge. The only thing we knew to do was to pray. We prayed for clarity. We prayed for peace. We prayed for provision.

The school year plugged along. There were victories and there were those moments that felt like a kick in the gut. Then sometime in December, I think, I was looking for postings for "Cain" in the mid-west. (I do that when I'm homesick....) I usually pull up websites for schools I know and see if there is any postings. I came across one and sent to him. He sent out his stuff and we waited. We waited and waited. Nothing. I had pretty much decided that I was going to have to find a new job.

Finally in February, Cain got a call inviting him up north. It happened so quickly. God answered each of our prayers so specifically we felt scared, reassured, and humored. Cain was offered the job before our plane landed at home. We were moving less than 100 miles from my family and many of my close friends. The miracles were just beginning. We have sold our home here...in 5 days! We bought a home across the street from Cain's new job (they don't have public transportation and he doesn't drive). The home is a dream house for us. I can go back to school tuition free. His provision is evident.

I am both excited and terrified of seeing the further consequences for this burning heart. I am pressing in to hear Him. What is to come?

The Consequences of a Burning Heart

It is hard for me to pinpoint the moment it all started. In fact this has been going on for a while and I'm not sure where to begin...so I'll just start somewhere I guess. I was stuck. I looked around and saw my life was just stuck. There was this quiet lull in which I felt like life was passing me by as though I was on freeze frame and everyone else was on fast forward. I knew that God was real and in my life. I knew that God had placed a call and passion in my life and I knew that I was in a holding pattern...waiting...watching...and then it happened. I did something I had never planned to do. I went back to teaching 5th grade. Not just any class, but THAT class. The class that has caused great teachers to be pressed to the breaking point. The class that everyone kind of holds their breath as they walk past and glances over to make sure that they all make it out of the no wake zone.
Truth be told, I didn't want to. I was compelled to. I knew without a doubt that God had made it clear that this was His task for me. The waiting was over. The school year was beginning and the purpose for this change was evident. A child in the class passed away and the funeral was held the same day as meet the teacher. There was no question in my mind that God had called J and I to be there to lead this class at this time. It hasn't been an easy year. In many ways they are still THAT class. There are moments that I shake my head in shame that I have had to resort to the kind of teaching that I despise.
As clearly as God had called me to change grade levels, God had pressed upon my heart a sense of urgency. 'Get your house in order. Your time here is done.' I heard this in my heart in August/September. I wrestled with it for weeks and finally after a low blow I knew that the pressure of knowing God's will and my resistance to it was too much. I walked down to my Principal and told her that I wasn't going to be back next year. I don't think she believed me. There were so many concrete reasons and excuses for me to leave. I am sure I could make quite a list of reasons to go but they don't really matter. I had such a sense of relief at saying out loud that I wasn't going to be teaching there next year. Comfort. Joy. God would provide.
What was His plan? What had this burning heart gotten me besides a clear end to my paychecks??